Security Woes/Transcript
In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: "RWBY CHIBI"! ---- Sitting at the kitchen table, Nora Valkyrie repeatedly hits Lie Ren in the head with Magnhild while Pyrrha Nikos uses her polarity to spin a spoon. Jaune Arc enters, carrying a rolled-up cylinder. Jaune: Let me guess. You guys are bored. Nora: I need to be entertained or my brain turns to oatmeal. The bland kind, not the kind with sprinkles. Uggggh, now I'm bored and hungry. Ren: I was fine before all the head trauma. Does anyone else hear bells ringing? Ren shakes his head to the sound of metallic tinkling. Jaune: Well, hey! I know a fun thing we can do. Nora stands up on her chair excitedly. Nora: Aw, yes. Does it involve hammers? Jaune: No hammers. Nora moans disappointedly. Jaune: It's a super fun board game. Nora: Oooh, I love board games! How does it work? Tell me, tell me, tell me so I can crush you all. Jaune: (unraveling the game to reveal a farm) It's called Compost King. You play as a farmer collecting organic scraps for your compost heap. Whoever gets the biggest pile of mulch becomes, wait for it, the Compost King! There's an awkward moment of silence as everyone stares at Jaune. Pyrrha: Hmm, OK. Yeah. Th-that sounds kind of like... Ren: The opposite of super fun. Jaune: Eh uh, what? No! Did I mention the mulching takes place in real time? A single game can last for days or even weeks. Nora grabs one of the farmer game pieces. Nora: (fake country accent) Oh no! My cows are being abducted by aliens! Save the cute cows. (makes gun noises) Jaune: Uh, no. There's no cows or aliens. Pyrrha (trying to do a country accent) I'll help you fight the aliens. Pyrrha uses her Semblance to make a farmer piece knock down the other farmer piece. Pyrrha: Punch, punch, kick! Jaune: You are ruining the integrity of the game. Ren: (with a piece in his hand) Never fear. The Cow Protection Force is here. I'm sorry, aliens, but I must inform you that these cows are under my protection. Any and all attempts to abduct them will be met with legal action. Ren slaps his hand on the table, causing the board to shake. Jaune: Guys, we can't have any fun if you don't follow the rules. Nora: (country accent) Jaune, please help us fight the alien invaders. Oh no...! Jaune: I will not. Nora: But, Jaune, the aliens' only weakness is... compost! Jaune: Why didn't you say so? Nora: (makes gun noises and uses country accent) You're in trouble now, alien cow-nappers. Jaune: (attempting country accent) Compost King to the rescue! Pyrrha: Board games were a great idea, Jaune! ---- At the airport, the Shopkeep is airport security. Cinder Fall waits on the other side of the metal D-TECT for Emerald Sustrai and Mercury Black to pass through. Emerald gets by without a problem. A green check mark shows up on the D-TECT screen. Mercury steps under the arch and an alarm goes off, a red X showing up on the D-TECT screen. The shopkeep shakes his head while Mercury's shoulders fall and he lets out a grunt of frustration. The Shopkeep runs a metal D-TECT wand over Mercury, and it goes off only near Mercury's legs. Watching from the other side, both Emerald and Cinder look unhappy. The Shopkeep shakes his head. Mercury's shoulders fall again with an even more drawn out sigh of frustration. Cinder and Emerald wait on the other end of the security belt for personal belongings. Mercury goes through head first and his skeleton is seen on the screen, including his metallic legs. The alarm goes off again and the Shopkeep's head pops up from behind the belt. He shakes it. A tear is seen falling from Mercury's right eye socket while Cinder and Emerald deflate and groan. ---- Weiss Schnee opens to the door to Team RWBY's dorm and freezes, eyes going wide at the sound of Ruby Rose calling out. Ruby: Wait! Weiss has one foot up in the air, ready to step into the room. A zoom out shows Ruby standing on the arms of a wooden chair in the middle of the room and Blake Belladonna reading a book on the top bunk bed behind Ruby. Ruby jumps down onto the seat of the chair and Weiss stands normally in the hall. Ruby: The floor is lava! Weiss: I swear you are five years old. Ruby: Weiss, this is a matter of life and death! Tell her, Blake! Blake looks up from her book. Blake: Yeah... life and death. Weiss: Ruby... Ruby: Look, I don't know how it happened, but if you treasure your life you must learn the ways of parkour... Weiss gets out Myrtenaster. Ruby:...balance and gymnastics... Weiss activates a glyph and floats across the floor to the bottom bunk bed and opens a textbook. Ruby stares. Ruby: OK, well, that's just cheating. Yang Xiao Long opens the closed door to Team RWBY's dorm and freezes, eyes going wide at the sound of Ruby calling out. Ruby: Wait! Zoom out shows the same montage as before: Ruby on the arms of the chair, Blake on the top bunk, and Weiss now on the bottom bunk. Blake and Weiss: (without looking up) The floor is lava. Yang: Oh. No foolin'? Ruby jumps down onto the seat of the chair. Ruby: Yes! Dear sister, if you value your life you'll tread carefully! One misstep could mean certain doom... Yang crouches and then uses Ember Celica to launch herself onto the top bunk next to Blake. Ruby: You guys are the worst. Roman Torchwick bangs open the closed door to Team RWBY's dorm. Torchwick: Time to meet your makers, Huntresses! (evil laugh) Torchwick starts to run into the room but freezes at the sound of Ruby calling out. Ruby: Wait! Torchwick pulls back and puts his left hand on his heart, eye wide with concern. A zoom out shows Ruby standing on the arms of the chair in the middle of the room, with Weiss, Blake, and Yang on the bunk beds all reading. Weiss, Blake, and Yang: (without looking up) The floor is lava. Torchwick's shoulders fall in unimpressed confusion. Torchwick: Huh? Ruby jumps down onto the seat of the chair. Ruby: Roman Torchwick! I know we've had our differences in the past, but please hear me out. Torchwick straightens and his eyes narrow. Ruby: The moment you pass through that doorway you'll be burned alive! Torchwick: (shoulders lowered again and muttering) Oh for the love of... (straightens and pulls out Melodic Cudgel) Alright! Yang, Blake, and Weiss finally look over at Torchwick. Torchwick: (aiming at Ruby) I'm killing you first. Torchwick jumps into the room, immediately putting his hands up in the air. Torchwick: Oh, it burns! Yang, Blake, and Weiss look at him, mouths dropping open and eyes going wide. Ruby is unsurprised. Torchwick: It burns! Ahhhh! Torchwick dissolves through the floor, leaving only his hat behind. Ruby: (to the rest of her team) I tried to warn him. Yang, Blake, and Weiss can only blink in shock. Category:Transcripts